Lost and Naked in the City Again

See Screech. See Screech about to get slapped on the nuts after another dismal Nationals loss. See Screech hawking a homemade porno online to avoid foreclosure during the Nats 2008 season. Someone will have to take the fall, and Screech is the only Nationals mascot who doesn't have his picture in the National Portrait Gallery.

So maybe I was being a little hyperbolic in predicting a 0-162 season. That's Cleveland Spiders bad. The 2007 Washington Nationals are more like 1962 Mets bad. Ok, that's still too harsh: this year's Nats are, like, '63-65 Mets bad. This team will be lucky to take 60 games. The season's still young; after all, the Cardinals now sport the same 0-2 record and the Pirates are 2-0. But you know things are fucked when your star player (Ryan Zimmerman) is already giving interviews where he politely cautions fans to expect a whole lot o' losing going on. But what can you expect when your GM spent the entire offseason making sure that the minor league affiliates were fully-stocked with AAAA players?

Disheartening stat, courtesy ESPN.Com: Nats have been behind in every single inning they've played this season. Shawn Hill's crackerjack Livan Hernandez impression (spotting the other team 4 earned runs in the first inning) and the Keystone Kops defense didn't help. But that's actually Washington Generals bad.