The Tide is High



I don't get it. But look at the guy in the picture with his shit-eating grin, ready to prostrate himself for George Costanza's longtime employer. I mean, it makes no sense -- maybe we've moved from the usual hyper-misogynist depictions of the "other" team and its fans as "ladies" and on to forced infantilization. What a slap in the face to all those adults I've seen strolling around in Huggies and bonnets on the Jenny Jones show? Seriously, what would Vice magazine say about this? Yikes.

Game 3 of the ALCS moves to tonight after Bud Selig canceled last night's contest for fear of inclement weather. What a drag for Houston and Stl, who can't catch a break with the scheduling when there's a Yankees or Red Sox around to grab a larger network share. And the Red Sox? Still in the fetal position, no matter what the Boston-area message boards would lead you to believe about momentum, changing heart, et al. Boston's irresistible force can't knock the Yankees' immovable object out of the way. Brown vs. Arroyo tonight and Hernandez vs. Wakefield tomorrow; both games are at Fenway, but both pitching match-ups favor the Yankees. Or do they?

Brown has no decisions against the Red Soc this year, and hasn't pitched against the division rivals since April, when he faced Boston in two unimpressive starts. And Hernandez, who had an otherwise fine last half, only faced Boston once in September and got knocked out after 3 innings. Arroyo has four no decisions in four starts against the Yankees, though the Red Sox cruised to victory in all of the games he started with not much help from him. Wakefield moves to the top of the leader board in wins, because unlike the other three, he actually nailed down a win against the Yankees.

The crystal ball is as cloudy as the Boston skyline, though, and I'm going to have to go with my gut. I'll guess that the Yankees show Boston who's their Yankee Daddy in tonight's game, while Boston fearing the humiliation of being swept, turns on the juice and takes game four. Key to this weekend's contests = Manny Ramirez, doing a marvelous impression of Barry Bonds in the postseason. Wake up, dude.