Golden (glove) showers

If a kid who fucks apple pies can graduate high school, achieve normalcy in college, settle down with a loving woman who just happens to enjoy sticking strange things in her vagina and still capture America's hearts, than no one should be outraged over the fact that Cubs OF Moises Alou has been pulling out his dinkus and urinating on his own hands as a strengthening regimen. As an alternative to wearing batting gloves. Sure, sure, folk medicine is full of strange uses of everyday products like, um, butter and toothpaste. And the susperstituous baseball mind is a well-documented phenomenon. Still, I don't care if the guy's batting near .300 over his career; to quote this kid in my high school who described what happened when a rat accidentally fell into a deep fryer at the fast-food restaurant he worked at, it's just nasty. I wouldn't do this in a box, wearing socks or with a fox -- I wouldn't even do it in a post-apocalyptic future where my very survival depended on it. Pity the poor president who might have to shake this guy's hand if the Cubs win the World Series this year.