An arm and a leg

I've been haunted by a huge cardboard cut-out of Sammy Sosa and his incredible shrinking neck for the last two weeks while stopping at the local convenience store for coffee to keep myself awake on the drive to work. Some company is running a promotion to meet the man, the myth, the legend in person and the timing's all wrong with his recent trip to the DL. Two sneezes, and suddenly Todd Hollandsworth is a starting outfielder. And the same scenario keeps running through my sleep-addled brain with a lucky contest winner fighting off the urge to woof cookies with the acrid stench of Ben Gay and liniments running through the clubhouse. Worst...prize...ever. Sosa's allergies are nothing to sneeze at, though: baseball has had a long, very colorful history of freak injuries. Some personal favorites include Marlins infielder Bret Barbarie burning his eyes with jalapeno juice while making nachos and arachnophobe Glenallen Hill's lacerations from falling through a glass table after a nightmare about being eaten by giant spiders. How the hell do you top that? You can't, but Rickey Henderson getting frostbite in the middle of the summer and Steve Sparks dislocating his shoulder while trying to emulate a motivational speaker by tearing a phone book in half come mighty close. There's even more schadenfreude-inducing goodies here and here.