Bump and grind

I'm pretty sure that I've already seen a movie or three about the Jayson Werth stalker case -- wife dumps high school sweetheart for guy who makes the big leagues, jilted lover blackmails the couple -- fifteen times. Seems like a cross between The Fan and Unforgettable and that one with Marky Mark carving Reese Witherspoon's name on his chest . Like, 4 eva. Not to make too much light of it -- the Werths seem like they just want to be left alone.

Here's an even more absurd story involving the wife of Gary Sheffield and R. Kelly and -- oh, what's that you say? -- a guy-on-girl-and-girl sex-video. I'm sorry. I just can't leave it alone. Tapes of Kelly making the beast with two backs with Sheffield's wife originated from Chicago, where community activist/ huckster Derrick Mosley attempted to give Sheff the shakedown for $20,000 in blackmail money. Here's the kicker: Sheffield's wife is 28. The tape is said to be at least 10 years old. R. Kelly has a predilection towards humping his proteges (Sheff's wife is a gospel singer), especially his underage ones. Bad timing for R. Kelly as it relates to his pending child pornography case, these days, it seems like he might as well take up permanent residence in a courthouse . I'm pretty sure I haven't seen this movie yet, but when art eventually decides to imitate life, it's going to be great.

Update: Is it a Yankee curse? Sheffield's stay in New York has been plagued with all sorts of difficulties . Read the article, it'll put hair on your chest.